What Is Your Self Worth?
Not a day goes by that I don’t question my self-worth or my ability to do one thing or another. I wonder how many of you can say the same thing. I’m not saying that I yell it out to the world, but in my own mind I beat myself up about so many things. It’s a wonder that I have enough room in there for any positive thoughts. Just like many of you, people look at me and say “you are crazy to even think that way” because from their perspective I seem to have a great deal of confidence and self-value.
Just the other night, I was having a discussion with my family at the dinner table and I mentioned that growing up I was a rather shy person. My son said with disbelief, "you were shy?” People have always seen what I wanted them to see on the outside but on the inside I fought the "you're not good enough" beast.
For my whole life I struggled with comparing myself to one person or another. Maybe it was the way I talked or the way I walked, or even the way I dressed, but I felt that someone would always make a comment about those things and it made me feel like I wasn't good enough. Yes, I compared myself to others all of the time.
As a child I had a friend that I looked up to and respected because of his accomplishments and confidence. On many occasions, when I had the opportunity, I would get out and do things with him and his friends. But more times than I can recount, he would tell me that I was stupid, slow, or even too short to play with him. Most of the time I pretended that it was ok but each time it happened it put a rather large chink in my childhood armor and got me to question even the most-simple abilities that I had.
It took years before I was able to believe in myself again, but those words would continually haunt me and even dominate my thoughts when things got difficult. Maybe it was when my height was in question, or my intelligence, or even my speed, that pushed me into thoughts of inadequacy. I really believe that those destructive thoughts and comments have kept me from accomplishing some pretty amazing things in my life.
I am now over 50 and finally feel like I have great worth and that I actually have an awful lot to offer this world. As I look back at my life and examined the things that got me here, I’ve compiled a list of 5 essential principles that have helped me to get out of a constant funk and into life of amazing opportunities.
I would like to share with you the 5 crucial principles that helped me conquer my self-doubt and gain a more positive self-esteem.
1. Integrity: Be honest in all your doings. Make sure you do what you say you will do. At work, give a full-days’ work for a full-days’ pay. You will feel so much better about yourself at the end of the day.
2. Service: Most of our self-worth and self-esteem issues comes from being focused on ourselves and what it is WE want. If you spend more time thinking about what others want or need you will take the focus off of your insecurities and put it into helping others overcome theirs.
3. Forgiveness: Make sure you forgive yourself as much as you forgive others. We all make mistakes and most of the time they are not intentional. Be sure to forgive yourself and realize that none of us are ever going to be perfect. Your goal should be to do the best you can and then assume that others are doing the same.
4. Gratitude: Recognize the wonderful things around you each day. You can’t help but start to feel good about yourself when you see the good in the world. Be thankful for the small things, and the big things will take care of themselves. Perhaps it will help if you keep a gratitude journal. Never stop recognizing what wonderful things there are around you every day.
5. Exercise: As we make it a priority to have some form of daily outside exercise we will release in our brains a hormones called endorphins. This hormone is known as the natural “opiate”. It had been found to help us feel happier and to ease even physical pains that we feel.
Finally, I would like add, that there will be days, even if you are doing these thing daily, that your self-confidence will be at a dangerously low point. This is natural and happens to everyone. Remember, don’t give up, don’t stop trying. Focus on just one principle at a time and believe that it will help…. because if you are persistent…it will!